My Name is Mommy (Old)

Ana is still snacking at night. Thanks so much for asking Johanna! We went up to visit Derrek and also my Mom this past weekend. We had planned to stop in San Jose on the way up there so I could get a new embroidery hoop for my machine. Unfortunately, I started a very sensitive discussion right about when I should have told Shane to exit the freeway. Long story short... we didn't stop at the sewing shop and I pouted for the next two hours.

We stayed at my Mom's house for two nights. On the second night, Ana woke up to eat at 2am. Then Caleb woke me up at 3am because he had peed his pants (but thankfully it was only about 2 drops), not thankfully, he wouldn't stop talking and woke Ana up, who wouldn't go back to sleep and then I had to wake Shane up (*&#@& $^@&%!!!!! - his words not mine). Then Ana woke me up at 5am to eat again.

That morning, she refused to eat. I finally got her to eat on one side at about 11am and then we headed home. 15 minutes into the drive she cries and cries. So, we stop to feed her. But, she's not interested. She lovingly coos at me. So, Shane and Caleb go into McD's to have a snack and play while I sing to her and give her attention so we can make it to San Jose for attempt #2 at getting my embroidery hoop. Everyone gets buckled in, we hid the road again. She cries and cries. I'm thinking she doesn't like the car seat. And maybe we've got two high strung kids. She finally falls asleep, but we end up having to stop and feed her before getting to San Jose.

I finally get my embroidery hoop!! Yay!! BUT. The guy is totally not interested in helping me fix the embroidery font software that came with my sewing machine. More on this later. We get in the car and I'm so depressed. I want to be happy that I finally got my hoop. But I just can't seem to get over the issue with the software. Then I remembered that I wanted to ask the guy something and Shane turns the van around because he wants me to be able to get all my porblems solved. The poor guy just wanted to make me happy. But, I'm so crazy that I start to cry and yell about wanting to just go home.

So, we just go home.

Not sure how many of you are still with me at this point. I know it's a long post. My point is... I'm really tired. And I'm having trouble controlling my emotions. It really sucks. So much so that we decided to try to force her to sleep through the night last night. ugh. I feel so horrible about it. But, we did it with Caleb at 3 months and he took to it very well. Ana? Not so much. Shane tried for 45 minutes with no luck. I nursed her for 10 minutes and she was out like a light.

After thinking about it today, I've decided that I just can't do that again. I feel so sad to be not feeding her when I know she wants me. And with Caleb we had good reason, I had to study and get some sleep. There is no good reason now, except for me to get some sleep and some sanity. But sanity is overrated, right? I mean, who really expects moms to be sane?