I'm going to try my hardest not to complain. I just want to get a post out explaining why I haven't been posting much. There's really so much I could say, but I'll try to keep it short. Basically, Ana is still waking up for multiple feedings (four times the last two nights) and I've been really tired. I'm not one that deals with sleepiness well and I feel like things have been slowly falling apart.
I had set my mind to not put Ana on a schedule because we did that with Caleb and I have lingering guilt about "training" an infant who just wants to be cuddled and loved. I was dead set against training especially after reading this very interesting blog post about a woman who breastfed her son while her family lived in Mongolia for three years. I was really struck by the difference in attitude about "indulging" babies.
But, now I'm having second thoughts about this method of going with the flow and following what ever schedule Ana wants to be on. After all, I don't live in Mongolia. I live in America. Land of the discontent and over-scheduled.
So, right now I'm in decision limbo. Haven't quite decided if I want to hold out hope for her sleeping through the night soon and trying my hardest to be happy with all that I have to be thankful for (because there really is a lot of that). Or. Maybe I should go to the library and borrow Baby Wise and work on the same sort of training that we put Caleb through.
Honestly, I'm leaning towards just sucking it up. I can't shake that awful feeling of depriving her of that comfort that only I can provide. Because all though it is very true that she can make it through the night with out eating, she just doesn't want to. I've made it 5 months already and at worst it'll go on for 7 more months. I can do it right? ...right?
5 comments:
You can do it. But don't go insane. Tina got up in the middle of the night for years. Of course, Tina is the picture of benevolence and patience...right? I'd probably pull all my hair out or...um, something. I think you're doing a great job! You are the best Mommy for your kids. Sorry I don't have any sage advice. :(
Years? At this point that sounds like a scary possibility. But, I don't think Shane would let it go on for that long. I think my emotional roller coaster is making him queasy :)
You can do it!!! :)
It won't last as long as you feel like it will ;)
Now that I have no babies to breastfeed, and haven't for years, it makes me sad that I cannot stay up at nights with a lil baby. :)
The little kid stage is the hardest, and you are right in the thick of it.
IT WILL GET BETTER!
Probably before you even know it :)
I always fell asleep nursing my babies and they would nurse whenever they wanted while I slept :)
I really miss that.
Having done a wide variety of methods, I say go with your gut and give her some more time. With Aaron, I super scheduled. Fortunately, for his personality, it worked. He loves a good schedule to this day. With Ethan, I didn't schedule at all, ever. It was tough at times, but I was so tired and depressed that the idea of fighting it was more stressful to me than any alternative. Had I not been depressed, I would have done some scheduling because the way Ethan ruled the roost did come between me and Jerry some. With Andrew, I just followed my gut. My gut said that he needed me to nurse him more than average and I did. I wanted to schedule him out of my sleeplessness, and I tried for about 5 weeks. It was an utter failure and I was so much worse off at the end than at the beginning. Finally, I just let go and determined to love on him while I could. I left my ipod in his room so I could listen to Atlas Shrugged during our night feedings, and sometimes I just prayed or dozed a bit, too. One day, I noticed that he had been changing and felt like he was ready for a bit more scheduling, so I did. He barely fought me on it, and I think it was because I had really learned to listen to him and know what he needed because I just spent so much time with him. He did start sleeping through the night, and now takes great naps on schedule during the day, too. It will come, I promise!
I say go with your gut too...you have to be happy and no one else can tell you what may or may not work for you! You have a good attitude that this is not forever and it too shall pass.
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